Dear Ask Anonymous,
I’m a nineteen year old and I’ve never been kissed. Shocking, I know. But it’s the truth. No one has ever liked me enough to want to. I’ve lied to all my friends about it because I’m desperately embarrassed and ashamed. Only my best friend knows and sometimes I feel like they see me as broken. I try to tell myself that it doesn’t bother me but those feelings always creep back and I feel totally invisible. I know that I shouldn’t let someone else’s opinion of me define me but sometimes I can’t help thinking about it. Every time I think about it always brings about one question…. what’s wrong me that I’m this unlikable?
Sometimes its better to look at things from the inside out, You’re nineteen years old and you’ve never kissed anyone, damn you must be priceless. Sometimes the problem isn’t with ourselves but with people. When the right person steps into your life and makes you feel like you NEED to kiss them because they make you so happy you’ll know the wait was worth it. Just because everyone is doing something doesn’t mean you have to. You aren’t ordinary darling. Find what you love, get to know yourself, invest in yourself and along the way you just might find that kiss in your journey. If you don’t know who you are, the world will tell you. You aren’t invisible and you have nothing to be embarrassed and ashamed about. Once you get into your twenties you’ll realise just how precious you are and how much you bring to the table just by being the amazing girl/guy you are.
Focus on you and along the way the right people will too!
I’m finding it really difficult to find my ‘clique’ in college and it’s making me stressed because I seem to be the only person without any steady friends and I think part of the reason is because I’m a commuter, how do I socialise with others better?
Dear Dolla Bill,
It sure is hard out here, trust me from all the letters I’ve got with people going through the same thing, you aren’t the only one who hasn’t made friends on a campus of 11,000. I’m pretty sure there’s a bunch of us solo peeps wandering around looking like we’ve got a “clique” , when we could just be one lol. From personal experience I found that the best way of solving this problem was joining a language society & making friends as you learn about people’s country, culture and their language or join a society you are interested in and finding out if there is a way you can join their committee even as just a board member/helping hand that way not only are you making friends but you’ve already got common grounds and the desire to accomplish things together. Head over to http://msulife.ie and check out the list of clubs and societies available. I’m pretty sure you’ll bring a little je ne sais qui to whichever table you chose to sit at.
Ok so I basically experienced a relationship in college before that I still haven’t gotten over but the person is abroad at the moment but I still think I have feelings for them. Any ideas how I can get over the person?
You didn’t mention if the person was coming back, but if he/she is and you both like each other, then honey patience is a virtue. Skype/FaceTime makes long distance relationships feel not so distant and the constant communication means you both get to know each other on a whole new level that when he/she gets back the foundation of your relationship will be so strong, most relationships miss communications while y’all are in the perfect position to use it to enhance your relationship. Shit who knows maybe you’ll find out you’re not compatible and decide it just wouldn’t work and boom feelings gone. Otherwise, its always a good idea to focus on yourself. Find what you love and throw yourself into it whole heartedly. Build on your pile of goodness and along the way love will find you again when you least expect it.