The incoherent case for free college

I support free college.

 

I support free college because I believe in aiding the Working Class.

College is a right, as people should be willing to pursue whatever dream they wish with financial burdens. This is why those who chose life choices other than college, and those who fell short in testing should be forced to pay for the education of students, regardless of the economic background or circumstances of said students.

 

I support free college because I believe in investing in the future of Ireland’s children.

This is why I support a program which is ridiculous in its size and scope, and will likely cause a massive increase in public deficit spending and public borrowing, an expense that my children’s generation will be saddled with.

 

I support free college because I care about the Irish economy, Irish jobs and keeping our young people at home.

This is why I support raising tax on multinationals establishing in Ireland to pay for the huge expense of third-level education, thereby ending our competitive tax regime. I believe that having good graduates is the most important differentiating factor for a multinational corporation establishing base in Western Europe; the fact that most choose Ireland over Britain, France, or any other European nation is mostly coincidental.

This is why I support creating a system where third-level institutions are effectively given a black cheque to gradually increase the burden of third-level education on the state and taxpayer, through wasteful spending. Politicians and civil servants have less incentive to spend wisely than individuals, as the money they spend isn’t theirs.

 

I support free college because it is a right.

Consequently, I acknowledge the absolute, unalienable right of any person to have the entirety of their Third-Class Honours degree in Art History to be fully subsidized by the people of Ireland.

 

I support free college because it is very easy to account for the obvious, and to disregard the unintended consequences of the policies I support.